Presidents Message

It has been my sincere privilege and honor to be born to the history I have. In the utterance of those words I have found such healing in my life.

I became involved with cultural healing when I started my own journey to reattach or reacquaint myself with those I believe I have descended from, one of the strongest and most resilient people on this earth, the American Indians.

In these last 46 odd years I have recorded, realized and been privy to some incredible and very poignant situations that have lifted my heart and also left deep wounds to my soul. Though difficult, lonely and frightening at times, it is my life.

I was born in Salt Lake City, Utah at a time in history when things were not equal and also very cruel and deliberate. As a American Indian child I was adopted at three months old by a very strong Catholic family of Mexican decent and raised on the West Side of Salt Lake. On a ½ acre property where there was still earth to grow things and space to raise animals, I don't remember ever feeling poor. I thought we hunted and grew vegetables because we liked these things.

My father was a hard working blue-collar man who worked in factories, drove trucks and ended up a manager for one of the largest lumber corporations in the country. Thirty years from truck driver to management, it was a giant step for a man with only a sixth grade education. Like many people of his generation he was able to move up to the middle class, no longer to speak Spanish only English and to act American.

We sold our home for freeway expansion and settled in one of the newest housing developments on the West Side of the city. My father was determined. Although he was told that houses were not sold to people like us he pursued the ideal until he attained a house right in the middle of a totally homogenous neighborhood, not only in race but in religion as well.

I was told that this was the best for us and our life would be better in many ways and, after all, " I would make new friends!"

I proceeded to attend schools where it became obvious I was very different from everybody else. To hear them tell it I was not even the race I thought I was. Even at this early age I came to find out just how cruel and misguided people can be because of learned behavior. In a school where I was the only person of color I realized how important it can be to have the proper information about people or a group of people. Misinformation put me in a position where people around me thought I was of African American descent and so the confusion unfolded. In an effort to gain some clarity I consulted my mother who shed some light on the confusion, not only about ethnic origin but also about adoption. I remember distinctly listening to her, asking more questions than she could answer, and returning outside to play, feeling more content and secure in my history because of the love that I felt from my adopted family. It just didn't seem that important at the time.

To this day I have come a long way, or "it sure seems long" in finding out who I am. I know my mother's name, "Elizabeth Ann Howard;" she was Navajo by site. This is the recollection of my adoptive mother. My father was very possibly one of eleven Northern Ute Indians that were allowed to attend the University of Utah in 1952 because of a federal proclamation handed down in 1951. I found my original name on my first Catholic baptism certificate, it was "Frederick Joseph Howard." When I heard that name the first time the feeling was far more than overwhelming, it was down right liberating.

I tell this micro story because it epitomizes what I see happening more and more in the contact I have with people concerning culture, diversity, awareness, sensitivity and healing. It is amazing just how much inappropriate, incorrect, maligned and confused information is being enabled, delivered and proliferated about race, diversity and culture. People have forgotten how to ask each other questions that provide us with essential information on our traditions, our histories and our present lifestyles. We live in a time where paranoia runs high and anxiety and fear are the norms.

It occurs to me that all people have history. Some embrace it, some have been running away from it for so long that they don't even know where to begin to look for it or even care, and some have been kept forcibly from it. So much misinformation is spread based on academic research told through the eyes of someone other than the subject population they are writing about. So much of the information gathered in this way cannot help but be distorted as it passes through their cultural filters, with comparisons based on their histories. A skewed view is what we get.

Unfortunately people turn curiosity about differences into skepticism because of lack of information or rumor. We have a basic innate curiosity to make sense of this world that we live in. Although we are caretakers of this place we have worked ourselves away from the conciliatory times of curiosity with respect and understanding and flexibility instead of where we are now, in an age of tolerance. Tolerance comes in many contexts but the one that stands out is the one that suggests "to be put up with." Well, I don't want to be put up with. I want to be acknowledged, valued and appreciated for what I have to contribute. I want to be able to reach the full potential of my capabilities.

The world is not more complex now, just more colorful and with greater resources than ever before. The challenge is to see the diversity we are experiencing as an asset instead of a liability. If we as people take the time to remember some of the old ways, we may glean some of the innate strategies that once allowed us all to remain curious instead of fearful, open instead of closed, and flexible in finding new ways to survive together.

What has this got to do with Cultural Healing? A great deal I feel. Throughout my history, as well as others around me, the opportunity to grieve the losses we have suffered has never been given. In a society where emotions for the most part have been discouraged and intellect and possession are encouraged, it is not a wonder why we fight amongst ourselves and with others. Grieving loss is a very strong and recently encouraged process for the individual, but what about populations and groups as a whole?

A great deal of pain has occurred and been caused in our combined histories and very few opportunities for the grieving process allowed. The healing I speak of is the acknowledgement and valuing of feelings associated with loss put forward in an effort to Hear, See and Feel the stories from all of those involved. It is through a process such as this that I and my colleagues have seen groups be able to move forward and meet the new dynamics that cross their paths on a daily basis.

I speak of all populations that have suffered some kind of persecution and been forced to assimilate into the majority norm. As the pressure continues over generations and generations we see the passed on signs of unacknowledged pain. It is not a wonder that we see the results in our children, who think less of themselves and do not know why, and who have trouble succeeding when they have all the gifts needed for success. We see the results in the parents that are unaware that they too may be passing down these same innate feelings that they were unaware of as they grew. We see the results in the populations that feed on each other and don't understand why, but know that it has just always been this way.

We see the results in a population that is forced to assimilate or be eradicated from this earth, a survival mechanism kicks in that allows for the survival of the species. The acknowledgment of culture and cultural differences as well as cultural similarities leads us to understandings that will further our sensitivity and deepen our ways of knowing about things we cannot make sense of.

Human interaction cannot happen in any meaningful way except through the medium of culture. Edward T. Hall in "The Hidden Dimension" stated it so well, "that no matter how hard man tries, it is impossible for him to divest himself of his own culture, for it has penetrated to the roots of his nervous system and determines how he perceives the world."

As I strive to understand my own beginnings, I am guided by the innate feelings that were embedded in my roots thousands of years ago. In my effort I learn more of how to listen, interact and feel with others as they pursue their journey. In this way we can support each other in a future that holds up diversity and culture as assets, offering great resources to meet the dynamics we are sure to face.

David Carillo, President
NCCH